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Finding quality time to connect with family can be challenging - especially if you’ve got young kids. However, research emphasizes the importance of shared family meals in building strong bonds. The [American Psychological Association finds](https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/12/rituals) that family routines and rituals like family meals are associated with marital satisfaction, adolescents' sense of personal identity, children's health, academic achievement and stronger family relationships.

Establishing new routines or rituals can be tricky, especially with families of younger children. To help, we’ve compiled a list of suggestions tailored to different age groups. 

## For Families with Children Under 4 Years Old:

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The goal at this age is just to get them to sit, just for a few minutes, all together. Over time, they will be able to sit a little longer, and a little longer, until you can engage them more in conversation. Here are a few ideas: 

**Engage in Sensory Play:** Incorporate sensory elements into mealtime by offering a variety of colorful and textured foods. Encourage your little ones to explore their meal with their senses, fostering curiosity and a positive association with mealtime. 

**Storytelling Time:** Utilize mealtime as an opportunity to spark your child's imagination through storytelling. Share age-appropriate stories or create impromptu tales, weaving imaginative narratives around the food on their plate. 

## For Families with Children Between 5-8 Years Old:

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At this age, you can engage your children in more conversation. The goal here is to get them to reflect, share, and learn to listen to others. 

**Share "Highs and Lows":** Begin the meal by asking each family member to share their "high" (best moment) and "low" (most challenging moment) of the day. This practice encourages conversation, empathy, and understanding among family members. 

**Table Games:** Incorporate age-appropriate table games, such as "I Spy" or trivia questions, to make mealtime interactive and engaging. These games promote memory, observation skills, and family camaraderie. 

**Tell jokes.** Who doesn't love a good joke? Bring a joke book to the table. Pass it around and take turns reading a joke or riddle. 

**Silly story.** You can try different approaches to telling silly stories. One way is for each dinner guest, in turn, to add a single sentence to the story. Another approach would be for each family member to make up a fantastical story about their day. 


## For Families with Children Between 9-12 Years Old:

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Kids at this age can build their confidence during family dinners, showing off their own interests and opinions. Activities/ideas can be a little longer (around 20-30 minutes). 

**Discussion Starters:** Prepare a jar filled with conversation starters or thought-provoking questions related to their interests or current events. Each family member can take turns picking a question, fostering open communication and critical thinking. There are [many great options](https://www.amazon.com/Conversation-Starters-Discussion-Categories-Wholesome/dp/B09MHV9NF1/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=ZFVJPS6S11AT&keywords=family+discussion+starters&qid=1688641446&sprefix=family+discussion+starter%2Caps%2C203&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1) if you don't feel like creating your own. 

**Establish Theme Nights:** Designate certain nights of the week for themed dinners, such as "International Cuisine Night" or "Family Talent Show Night." Involve children in the planning process and encourage them to research, prepare, and present different aspects of the theme. Take it to the next level with stories, games, and even costumes for the big night. 

**Family Gratitude Circle:** Before starting the meal, take a moment to express gratitude as a family. Encourage each family member to share something they are grateful for, fostering a positive and appreciative atmosphere. 

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Some teenagers may be too busy, or somewhat reluctant to join in family mealtimes. Encourage it as often as you can. This is a great opportunity to stay connected to their evolving interests, and continue to build their confidence, and challenge their critical thinking. 

**Tech-Free Time:** Establish a rule of having tech-free dinners to create an opportunity for uninterrupted conversations and focused family engagement. Encourage everyone to keep their devices away during mealtime. 

**Family Shoutouts:** Set aside a dinner specifically dedicated to appreciating and acknowledging each family member's achievements, progress, and contributions. Take turns expressing gratitude and highlighting qualities of one another. 

**"Ask the Expert":** Assign different family members as experts in specific subjects or areas of interest, allowing them to share their knowledge during mealtime. This practice encourages learning, information exchange, and reinforces the value of each family member's expertise. 

**Current Events Discussions:** Allocate time to discuss current events or important topics happening in the world. Encourage teenagers to voice their opinions, debate respectfully, and engage in meaningful conversations that promote critical thinking. 

**Family Book Club:** Choose a book to read together as a family and set aside time during dinner to discuss the story, characters, and themes. This activity promotes reading comprehension, critical thinking, and creates a shared literary experience. 


Family dinners provide an invaluable opportunity to connect and bond with our loved ones. Regardless of the age group, there are numerous ways to make these moments meaningful and enjoyable. By tailoring activities to suit the interests and developmental stages of your children, you can foster stronger relationships, open communication, and create lasting memories. For more ideas and advice on making family dinners work for you, check out [The Family Dinner Project](https://thefamilydinnerproject.org/blogs/).

## FAQs:

#### How often should we have family dinners?
Having family dinners as often as possible is ideal, but the frequency may vary based on each family's schedule. Aim for at least a few times a week to reap the benefits of regular connection and communication. Remember, W=while many people focus on establishing a tradition of family dinners, if that’s not working for your schedule, try sitting down together for breakfast!

#### What if my teenager is reluctant to participate in family dinners? 
Encourage open dialogue and respect their feelings while emphasizing the importance of family time. Engage them in a conversation about how to prioritize time together - for example, switching to breakfasts, changing the days of the week, and connecting in different ways. 

#### Can family dinners be shortened due to busy schedules? 
Certainly! And they often will be. While it's ideal to have family dinners, schedules can be hectic. Even shorter dinners can be meaningful by focusing on quality rather than quantity. Use the time to engage in meaningful conversation and connect with each other, even if it's just for a short while.

#### How can we make family dinners more interactive? 
Incorporate interactive elements like games, themed nights, or shared activities during family dinners. This could include anything from cooking together to storytelling, creating an environment that encourages participation and engagement.


Finding quality time to connect with family can be challenging - especially if you’ve got young kids. In this blog post, we share age appropriate ideas to help you establish a family dinner ritual, and have fun doing it. 

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How To Connect During Family Dinners: Great Ideas for Kids of All Ages

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